I am no less of a man

By Leonel Ceja

I am a Kinesiology major having finished my second semester at Cal State San Marcos. I am also a first-generation Latino student, and my goal is to become an athletic trainer. Before this past semester, I had very little interest in enrolling in WGSS courses. The only reason I did was because a friend of mine said it was “an easy A.” However, after spending a semester in this class, I really enjoyed it, especially learning about toxic masculinity because I could relate to it so much. It was a great experience, one that has opened my eyes a lot. 

Dear Dad

By Kennedy McIntosh

dear dad,

he called me beautiful.

looking back at it now, I don’t know why I felt so uncomfortable with those words

or why him saying them to me was repulsive

or why such affection is what always drives me away.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say things like that to me

without following it up with “you get it from me.”

I truly believed that.

I believed you when you told me that I’d better grow my hair back out

because boys like long hair better.

I believed you when you told me to never eat on a first date

after I ordered the large fries and you told the cashier to cancel them.

I believed you when I said mom was so beautiful when she was my age and I wanted to look just like her

and you said, “you probably won't. your mom was really thin. you have a bulkier body type like me.”

I believed you when you said the man is the king

and I’d better stop acting like a bitch and accept it.

dear dad,

will my value always be based on whoever validates it?

will they all silence me?

will I have to stop voicing my opinions for his sake? will he leave me if I don’t?

will I have to dumb myself down to make them feel smarter?

will I have to lose 40 pounds before they look at me?

go ahead and tell me. because no matter what I think, or what mom says, or what my friends say, I’ll probably still believe you.

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I am a first year student at CSUSM, majoring in Communication with minors in Film Studies and Literature & Writing Studies. The first poem I ever wrote was in eighth grade when my uncle committed suicide, but I didn't even think about it becoming anything more than a coping mechanism. In high school, I didn't know what I wanted to be. I dreaded family gatherings where I'd be asked what I wanted to be when I grew up and criticized for not having my life planned out like my older brother. With the fear of having the same financial struggles as my family, I was at a crossroads: I had to choose between doing something I was passionate about and something that was safe. About a year and a half ago, I built a bookshelf for all of my books that had been sitting in the garage. I found all of my poetry and fiction books as well as a journal of story ideas and poems I had written. Then, it just kind of clicked. Poetry has given me an outlet to voice all of my emotions and help me understand myself better.

Photo by jurien huggins on Unsplash.

WGSS and Black Lives Matter

The Department of Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) condemns the recent racist murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, and Rayshard Brooks—and the countless such murders that have occurred before these: Stephon Clark, Botham Jean, Philando Castille, Michelle Cusseaux, Freddie Gray, Janisha Fonville, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Michael Brown, Tanisha Anderson, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Atatiana Jefferson, Charleena Chavon Lyles, and tens of thousands more over the last 400 years.

As an intersectional feminist department, it is imperative to recognize that Tony McDade’s status as Black and trans made him particularly vulnerable to police violence.

All of these murders are the result of a history of anti-Black racism and police brutality that began the day in 1619 that the first enslaved Black person set foot on this continent. This racism and brutality continue to be a cornerstone of American society and, consequently, a critical focus of our WGSS courses.

The WGSS Department stands with Black Lives Matter and the entire Black community—and all people of color.

We stand against structural and individual racism, police brutality, state-sanctioned violence, mass incarceration, environmental racism, economic injustice, and all of the brutal ways Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC*) continue to be treated in the United States.

We stand for social justice.

We stand with Black Lives Matter in demanding an end to systemic racism; the defunding of police to reallocate funds to social, educational, and health programs; economic and social investment in Black communities; the creation of Juneteenth as a national holiday; and the establishment of a world that affirms the lives of Black people—and all people of color—regardless of actual or perceived gender identity, sexual identity, gender expression, religious belief, immigration status, economic status, or national identity (Black Lives Matter 2020).

A note to white people:

Race and racism are not issues that belong to Black, indigenous, and people of color. While whites often think of themselves as “raceless,” white people are not without a race. Rather, race and racism are issues that belong to white people because race, racism, and whiteness were created by whites to justify the historic and brutal exploitation of African people, the eradication of indigenous lands and resources, and the oppression of indigenous, Chicanx/Latinx, Asian, and other people labeled “of color.”

To dismantle racism, white people must do the work of examining themselves—their whiteness, white privilege, structural racism, and white supremacy. This means listening to (not lecturing at) Black, indigenous, and people of color about their experiences; validating their experiences; and doing research on and becoming familiar with the issues of racism—even when it is uncomfortable.

To dismantle racism, white people must unlearn dominant narratives about BIPOC,* and learn what anti-racism means.

To dismantle racism, it is essential to learn more.

Here are some readings and videos, and links to additional resources:

Organizations

Black Lives Matter

The BIPOC Project

Say Her Name

Say Their Names

Videos and interactives

Kimberle Crenshaw on intersectionality and the #sayhername movement:

The 1619 Project, The New York Times Magazine (includes a rich collection of essays)

Books and articles

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

“The Case for Reparations” by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Also available in the CSUSM Library collection: The Best American Magazine Writing 2015

We Were 8 Years in Power by Ta-Nehisi Coates

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

White Rage by Carol Anderson

Resources from CSUSM Feminists Unite

Follow them on Instagram @csusm_feministsunite.

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*"BIPOC" is a relatively new yet commonly-used term, but language evolves, often quickly. Consequently, we remain committed to updating the language we use in our teaching and web content to reflect distinct community preferences.